How to Fight Clean

For Husband and Wife ( Day 6 of 18 )
JUST SHARING (from the “
Couple’s Devotional Bible”)
This article’s author: Charles R. Swindoll
Bible Passage: Proverbs 29:1-27

Key Verse: Proverbs 29:11

“A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.”

Most marriages have their periodic skirmishes – and, occasionally, an all-out war. We can’t stamp out fighting completely, but we can learn how to fight clean. Here are biblical ground rules for marital battles.

First, commit yourselves to honesty and mutual respect. Have you committed yourself, verbally and honestly in your soul, to being authentic and honest with your partner – viewing him or her with respect?

Next, lay down your deadly weapons. A temper that slips out of control is sinful. Anger that means to hurt is sin.

Third, agree with your mate that the time is right. Both partners should sense when to talk. There are times to disagree, and there are times not to disagree.

Fourth, after you take a verbal swing, be ready with a solution. When you come to your mate with justified criticism, be quick with a suggested solution.

Fifth, watch your words and guard your tone. The louder our voices, the less our mate will hear; the uglier the words, the less we will communicate.

Finally, when it’s all over, help clean up the mess. Be compassionate enough to weep with the one who’s hurt from the fight.


How do you and your spouse come to an agreement about when it’s time to talk about a problem?

How could you incorporate these ground rules as you seek solutions to your disagreements?

Additional Scripture Readings: Ephesians 4:32; Proverbs 15:1; 2 Timothy 2:23; Philippians 2:14

Published in: on 9 March 2008 at 12:40 am  Comments (2)  
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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. napadaan po.

    homebodyhubby: salamat sa patuloy na pagdaan, amang… ako maski saan, hindi na masyadong napapadaan, pa-pitik-pitik na lang. 🙂

  2. wat if honesty is nt d way to do it?

    i mean, wat if telling d truth wud create more harm dan gud? (samtyms, dts d case eh)

    agree with your mate that the time is right. Both partners should sense when to talk. << i totally agree, usually, nadidinig ko yung palaging cnasabi na wag papalubugin ang araw o matutulog ng magkagalit.. wel, di sa lahat applicable yan, meron mga tao ( inc. me) ne dont wanna settle disputes unles redi..

    lalo lang kc lalala ang ayaw pag prehas pa galit, dpt wag ipilit ang pagbabati just 4 d sake of it…

    homebodyhubby: may topic ako regarding honesty,
    pero hindi ko ito maisisingit na mai-post dahil out of the (about) 365 devotionals, 18 lang ang hinugot ko…
    i think nasa pagtanggap din yun ng tao — mas naging dishonest na sa kanya nuon ang partner nya, mas mahirap nyang matanggap ang mga “honesty” na susunod pa.
    (maski sa tutuong honest na, hindi na sya maniwala)

    sa last two paragraphs nitong comment mo —
    if i got it right, re sa paghupa ng galit bago lumubog ang
    araw (Ephesians 4:26) ang tinutukoy mo na hindi applicable — hindi yung kung kelan ready na or not (or yung sinabing “agreed time is right” ng author ng article) — which is a completely different issue…
    WALA naman yatang sinabing “IPILIT ang pagbabati” just
    ‘for the sake of it.’ (we are not trying to be legalistic here)

    nadiscussed na natin yan sa isa ring comment mo nuon… palagay ko naman, MALINAW ko nang nasagot yan dito:

    hapi deys

    asawa ko na yan ha? lalo na siguro kung ibang tao maski bestfriend ko pa, mas lalong hindi ko muna kakausapin kung nanggagalaiti na sa pagmumura — baka umbagin pa ako.

    yung misis ko, once ko lang narinig magmura — nung
    minsang nag-away kami at panay ang pagmumura ko… napuno na yata sa akin? na-turn-off ako sa kanya kasi
    nuon ko lang sya narinig na magmura. napahiya naman
    agad sya at napaiyak…

    ako man mas lalong napahiya kasi mas madalas akong magmura pag may away kami maski hindi patungkol sa kanya. siguro kako, anlaki ko ring TURN-OFF sa kanya?
    kaya ayun, pag nag-aaway kami, nasusupil ko ang aking
    sarili sa pagmumura.

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