For Husband and Wife ( Day 8 of 18 )
JUST SHARING (from the “Couple’s Devotional Bible”)
This article’s author: Jim Smith
Bible Passage: Song of Songs 7:1-13
Key Verse: Song of Songs 7:10
“I belong to my lover, and his desire is for me.”
Men and women bring two different sets of expectations to the way they view sex. Studies indicate that a woman’s libido rises and falls according to her twenty-eight-day ovulation cycle. The typical male, on the other hand, has sexual thoughts every few minutes. I tell couples, women especially, that sometimes they will need to offer the gift of availability to their spouse out of love and sensitivity to their partner’s needs (1 Corinthians 7:5).
Most women place a higher priority on romance and affection than men do. Not that men don’t want these things too, it’s just that they don’t usually rate them at the top of their needs list. And both approaches are valid. The senior pastor of our church used to describe sex like eating: Sometimes you sit down to a gourmet feast with candlelight, soft music, seven courses. Other times it’s a snack on the run. Neither would be healthy all the time.
Spouses need to be realistic about their sex life and willing to accommodate each other’s desires. Granted, not every sexual experience is going to be equally satisfying and fulfilling for both partners. But good communication helps ensure that you know what your spouse wants in bed. And it keeps sex from becoming mechanical.
• How do your expectations about your sexual life seem to be different from those of your spouse?
• The pastor uses the metaphor of eating for sex. Because of busy lifestyles, couples increasingly only have time for that “snack on the run.” When was the last time you and your spouse had a “gourmet feast”?
Additional Scripture Readings: 1 Corinthians 7:3-5; Proverbs 5:18-23