Working Too Hard

For Husband and Wife ( Day 9 of 18 )
JUST SHARING (from the “
Couple’s Devotional Bible”)
This article’s author: Archibald D. Hart, Ph.D.
Bible Passage: Acts 20:1-37

Key Verse: Acts 20:2

“He (St Paul) traveled through that area, speaking many words of encouragement to the people…”

How can you keep your work from becoming the primary focus of your life? And how can you keep job stress from having a negative effect on your marriage?

First, don’t let your marriage become a dumping ground for your work frustrations. If the only conversation that takes place between a husband and wife is about work, the marriage will eventually burn out. Intimacy can’t grow between two people who never explore any of the deeper issues in their lives.

Second, especially with dual-career couples, guard against emotional detachment. Each spouse gets wrapped up in his or her own career, and work becomes a gauge of their self-esteem, rather than the two of them nurturing each other and reminding the other of his or her value.

In contrast, if a couple develops a habit of showing appreciation for the things they value in each other, it will help each of them see his or her value apart from their work. You have to practice affirming your partner before it will become second nature to you. Too many spouses say, “Oh, she knows I like that about her,” or, “He knows I value that quality in him.” No, they don’t know. You need to tell your partner these things over and over.


What do you think is a good balance for what to share and what not to share about work?

What is the danger of looking to work successes as a gauge for your self-esteem?

Additional Scripture Readings: Romans 14:19; 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Published in: on 12 March 2008 at 12:20 am  Comments (2)  
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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. yeah, yan ang kadalasang mali sa mga mag partner..
    “assuming” .. thinking na, cguro nmn alam nya na yun, or dpt nmn alam nya na yun by now..

    pero dpt isipin.. it wudnt hurt to say d words..
    kilig moments r wat makes d rel. stronger n less mundane 😀

    affirmation is a bridge, assumption is a quicksand.. -MKB-XXX

    homebodyhubby: empre naman… mas maraming ‘insecurities’ ang partner, mas maraming ‘assurance’ ang kelangan.

    pero habang nagma-mature ang marriage, both partners should be growing in each other’s trust, which unfortunately sa ilan ay pinaliit ng past experiences at lalo pang pinaliliit ng negative forces or interference ‘outside’ of marriage — hanggang sa mapalitan na nga ng mga false assumptions of distrust… nakalulungkot isipin na minsan galing pa yan sa mga dating kaibigan nung tao, o kaya dun mismo sa mga in-laws.

    kelangan nasa lugar din ang ‘affirmation’ ng mag-asawa, baka kasi mamihasa at ma-spoiled naman — hindi din nila natutulungang mag-mature ang isa’t-isa… magsasawa lang sila sa kaa- ‘affirm’ sa isa’t-isa, hanggang sa hiwalayan din ang bagsak… kasi hindi nadevelop at nag-mature sa bawat individual yung trust.

    in our experience, our trust in each other has grown enough to give us the patience to ‘wait and see’ — kaya full of surprises, which is one of the reasons that makes our marriage tick. 😉

    i think the following linked post is somewhat related to my reply (2nd to the last paragraph above):

    Be a Forgiver

  2. thanks much, guy


    HBH: You’re welcome. 🙂

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