For Husband and Wife ( Day 13 of 18 )
JUST SHARING (from the “Couple’s Devotional Bible”)
This article’s author: Douglas B. DeMerchant
Bible Passage: Matthew 5:27-32
Key Verse: Matthew 5:27-28
Jesus said: “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
Marriage doesn’t kill an active imagination any more than it dampens our appreciation for members of the opposite sex. And yet, just as marriage calls us to redirect our passions exclusively toward our partners, so too it calls us to redirect our mental passions.
The place to begin is with the biblical injunction to think on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable (Philippians 4:8). This calls for discernment – the ability to sort out the wholesome from the unsavory, the godly from the evil, the lovely from the stained. We need to be aware of and alert to the influences and messages all around us that promote unhealthy fantasies.
To help combat the negative effects of such influences, open communication with your spouse is essential. For example, talk to your mate about your lovemaking. If it has become routine, discuss ways to liven things up. And to help heighten the pleasure of these physical times, focus your thoughts on your spouse exclusively. Fantasizing about his or her touch, intimate moments together and physical closeness provides new energy and a greater desire to be together.
Fantasy should only be focused on your mate. It should be used to heighten and enrich the sex life in your bed, not the sex life in your head.
• What influences and messages around us promote unhealthy fantasies?
• Talk with your spouse about your times of lovemaking. What would each of you like to be different?
Additional Scripture Readings: Philippians 4:8; 1 John 2:15-17