Nice Kids Finish First

For Husband and Wife ( Day 14 of 18 )
JUST SHARING (from the “
Couple’s Devotional Bible”)
This article’s author: Dolores Curran
Bible Passage: 2 Kings 22:1-20

Key Verse: 2 Kings 22:1-2

“Josiah was eight years old when he became king, and he reigned in Jerusalem thirty-one years… He did what was right in the eyes of the Lord and walked in all the ways of his father David, not turning aside to the right or to the left.”

I was leading a workshop on affirming and supporting children when a mother voiced a rather common problem. “What do you do when you have one child who is first in everything and another who is mediocre? If I praise Tom on his good grades, I know it hurts Dan. But there’s nothing to praise Dan for.”

I suggested that she could affirm Dan’s strengths. But before I could go on, she interjected, “But he never wins at anything.” I tried to get her to name Dan’s good qualities, not his “successes,” but she looked at me blankly. Finally I said, “If Dan should die, what would you and your family miss?”

“Oh,” she said, “we’d miss his gentleness and fun. He always tries to make the rest of us feel better if we’re down. And he’s the peacemaker in the family.”

Suddenly she realized her problem: She could affirm visible achievement, but not those virtues that make people “good” in a world that needs them more than it needs Olympic stars.

What we need today are more Dans than Toms. To be sure, the Toms will invent more technology, reach CEO status, become high-ranking military officers and run Wall Street. But the Dans will foster a kinder nation. We need all the Dans we can nurture.


What are some of your spouse’s visible achievements? each of your children’s?

What are some of the less obvious character traits you can affirm in them?

Additional Scripture Readings: Psalm 119:9-11; 1 Timothy 4:12

Published in: on 17 March 2008 at 12:20 am  Comments (2)  
Tags: ,

The URI to TrackBack this entry is:

RSS feed for comments on this post.

2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. itay… dito ako natouch ah..parang ako si Dan… hahaha.. di ko kc kalevel si Tom… hayyy.. itay.. namis ko tong bhay mo.. tagal rin akong di nkabisita..

    homebodyhubby: what a coincidence! 😀 sabi ko na repah, tama ang ‘discernment’ ko sayo! alam mo bang “ang anak kong ‘peacemaker’” ang gusto kong itawag sa’yo? ahehe… hamo, ire-reiterate ko yan maski kapiraso bago ako mag- panibagong-anyo.

    dun sa madalang na pagbisita ay walang problema… 😉

  2. itay nararamdaman ko nga prang lahat ay nag-aayuna na.. at kokonti na lng ang nkakadalaw sa iyo.. ???

    homebodyhubby: ahehe… baka nag- “aayuno”
    ang ibig you sabihin? 😛

    ayon sa ‘graph’ sa dashboard ko, yung nakakadalaw mukhang hindi naman talaga dumalang… yung nagko- komento oo… baka dahil hindi na rin ako masyado nakaka- pasyal sa iba? 🙄 ahehe… oks lang miski madalang ang comments, basta miski konti may nakakabasa ng mga mensahe. 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: