Bad, bat girl

Naligaw sa building. Kanino kayang alaga (pa-‘sugo’) ito? 😆

Naihian na ba kayo sa ulo ng paniki?

Hanep sa opening kwestyun ano? ampanghe! 😆

Naalala ko kasi nung highschool pa lang ako… sa Calamba, takip-silim. Overhead, andaming nagliliparang mga kabag o yung maliliit na paniki (awoooooooooooo!!!😯 ). Nakatuwaan kong pagbabatuhin. May isang bigla na lang na nag-shift ng direksyon pa-head-on sa kinaroroonan ko. Hindi naman nag-landing sa mukha ko, pero parang eroplanong stealth fighter na may inilagpak sa bumbunan ko.

Nung kapain ko, basa…🙄 nung amuyin ko ang kamay ko, ay powtah… ambahooooooO!!! 😡

“Sutil ka kasi eh… hindi ka naman inaano! E di iyan ang napala mo!”😆 (eka siguro nung bastos na flying daga).

Ahehe… paano pa kaya kung etsas yun? (Kahit pa ba epektib na pertilayser ang guano!) At, mga mister at misis, paano din kaya kung asawa mo ang “paniki”?

Sowee, mga kapatid… medyo kambyo ang tono ng post ko ngayon – hindi “wholesome” (Kids, close your eyes). 😆 Hindi seryus, at walang sermon. In other words, “makapagpatawa lang.” 😀 😆😀 maliliit ang bunganga ng mga emotikongs na ito. Para maski sa blog man lang ay “maipagmalaki” kong minsan ay “nagluko” din ako. 😈

taong-paniki

Here are five cases of a wife (and her husband) screwing around. Hindi ko na tinagalog, para obyus na imported from da istets. Huwag nyong “kokopya-hin”:

2 cases: Husband, unsuspecting 🙄

Batgirl #1

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen. He told his wife:

“There’s no way I can be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?”

The wife smiled sweetly and replied: “Not this time!”

Batgirl #2

A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part he had ever seen!

“I’m sorry Mr. Schwartz,” the mortician commented, “I can’t allow you to be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity.”

So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.

“I have something to show you won’t believe,” he said to his wife, opening his briefcase.

“My God!” the wife exclaimed, “Schwartz is dead!”

2 cases: Husbandapproved? 😕

Batgirl #3

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door.

“Hurry,” she said, “stand in the corner.” She rubbed baby oil all over him, and then dusted him with talcum powder.

“Don’t move until I tell you,” she said, “pretend you’re a statue.”

“What’s this?” the husband inquired as he entered the room.

“Oh it’s a statue,” she replied, “the Smiths bought one and I liked it so I got one for us, too.”

No more was said, not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a sandwich and a beer.

“Here,” he said to the statue, “have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths and nobody offered me a damned thing.”

Batgirl #4

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.

“Certainly, Sir, that’ll be one cent.”

“One Cent?” the man exclaimed.

He glanced at the menu and asked: “How much for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?”

“A nickel,” the barman replied.

“A nickel?” exclaimed the man. “Where’s the guy who owns this place?”

The bartender replied: “Upstairs, with my wife.”

The man asked: “What’s he doing upstairs with your wife?”

The bartender replied: “The same thing I’m doing to his business down here.”

1 case: “God”-ordained ??? 😆

Batgirl #5

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.

The little boy says, “Dark in here.”

The man says, “Yes, it is.”

Boy: “I have a baseball.”

Man: “That’s nice.”

Boy: “Want to buy it?”

Man: “No, thanks.”

Boy: “My dad’s outside.”

Man: “OK, how much?”

Boy: “$150”

Man: “Sold.”

In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.

Boy: “Dark in here”

Man: “Yes, it is.”

Boy: “I have a Wilson infielder’s glove.”

The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, “How much?”

Boy: “$350”

Man: “Highway robbery. Sold.”

A few days later, the father says to the boy, “Grab your glove, let’s go outside and have a game of catch.”

The boy says, “I can’t, I sold my ball and my glove.”

The father asks, “How much did you sell them for?”

The boy says, “$500”

The father says, “That’s terrible to overcharge your friends like that… that is way more than those two things cost. I’m going to take you to church and make you confess your greed.”

They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth and he closes the door.

The boy says, “Dark in here.”

The priest says, “Don’t start that shit again, you’re in my closet now.”

“Very funny!😕 ” eka ng mga ‘kano… kahit nga naman may santokristo ka pa sa dibdib.

Padadaig ba naman ang Pinoy? Eto pa (last na ito😳 ) pero huwag kayo magalit sa kababayan nating si Inday hane? Unfortunately, isa lang naman sya sa mangilan-ngilang (?) kababaihan natin ngayon na kung ide-describe ay mas malaki ang dibdib kaysa sa utak.” 😛

(innocent) Batgirl (#6)

Mam: “Inday, buti naman at bumaba na ang ‘bills’ natin sa tubig at kuryente!” 🙂

Inday: “Oo ate. Kasi po sumasabay nang maligo si sir sa akin, at pinapatay na rin nya ang ilaw pag tumatabi sya sa akin!” 😀

Sambadi plis weyk her ap… wawa naman – napagpipistahan lang ng mga mister na “matitipid”😆 at obsessed sa cleavage na paris ni Sir.

Hahahaha😛 hehehehe😆 hihihihi😐 hohohoho😦 huhuhuhu😥

Tama na oy, baka kabag ang abutin mo. 😆

Published in: on 5 July 2008 at 10:00 am  Comments (9)  
Tags: ,

9 Comments

  1. haha!

    kuya! namiss ko magbasa ng blogs mo..🙂

    an dami ginagawa sa trabaho.. by God’s grace.. kaya naman…

    sana makapagsulat na ulit ako… hehe..

    God bless po…

    ————————————————

    Kuya: Hi pompom…😳 ‘kakasuka ang post ko ngayon, amoy-paniki.
    Kumusta na si kookoo, nagkikita pa ba kayo? 🙂
    God bless sa inyong dalawa!

  2. hakhak.. adik ka din anu.. hehe.. =P baka pag gabi nagtatransform yung mga maliliit na paniki na yun… haha. dito din samen madaming ganyang paniki.. at may bago akong natutunan, kabag pala tawag sa maliliit na paniki. haha. oha oha. natuwa nako.. natuto pako… hanep pala blog mu eh. educational na, harhar pa.. nyeeee.. korni ni batopik. hahaha! xD

    ————————————————

    HBH: “Kabág” — nasa huling “a” ang diin, iha.
    Kasi pag sa una (“kábag”), laman-tiyang hangin yun! 😆

    Korni ka ba ‘eka mo? Ay welkam to may world – ako may gay-an din😆 … tagasaan ka ba, ineng? Hulaan ko… Keson-prabins baga? Ahehe…

    Eniwey… maliliit lang na klaseng paniki ang mga kabág, at wala na silang ilalaki pa. Naaawa nga ako dyan sa nasa piktyur nung makita ko syang nakakapit nang patiwarik sa ‘eaves’ ng balkonahe dito sa 4th floor ng building, akala ko mamamatay. Inabot ba naman ng umaga duon? 😯 awoooooooo!!!!

    Hindi ko naman mabugaw dahil bulag sila pag araw,
    baka lumagpak sa kalsada sa ibaba ay masagasaan, o kaya pagkatuwaan ng mga pasaway na tambay. Pero kung nagaala- taranspormers nga ang mga iyan tulad ng sabi mo – yun bagang nangangakyat ng kama ng mag-asawa sa gabe, ay kahit pa sya masagasaan ng pison o kaya barbekyuhin ng mga walang magawang bata. 😆

    Wala lang… nandun lang sya, nakabilad sa init hanggang katanghaliang-tapat (buti hindi naging daing), tapos bumuhos ang malakas na ulan (buti hindi napasma😆 ). Nung dumilim, ayun naga-fly-fly din naman… at kami’y hindi na muli pang nagkita. Ahahahaha…

  3. argh paniki?! Takot ako dyan ewan kung bakit.. Hehehe

    Ayos ang strategy nung bata sa batgirl number 5 ah.. hehehe..

    ————————————————

    Kuya Teddy Bear: Propesyonal na blakmeler yata si totoy, ahehe…

    Yang kabág, ‘lang beses na akong nakahuli nayan, hawakan ko sila sa magkabilang pakpak. Nakakatakot kasi ang hitsura nila – lalu na pag nilalabas ang pangil pag nagagalit sila? 😯
    Maski siguro 30 turok ng anti-rabies, pag nakagat ka nila, kulang pa. Sa tutuo lang, takot din ako –
    sa iniksyon, hindi sa kagat ng paniki. 😆

    Ahehe… baka bad na “batman” yung kinatatakutan mo, ‘angel’? 😆 Buti na lang mga hamsters, miski lagyan mo ng pakpak, para laang silang flying eskwirels! 😛 Parang angels na teddy bears?

  4. aha! nowty nowty li’l bad robby! Lols😆

    * ok cge, biling bili ko empre ang jokes mo😛 at elibs ako sa pagkaka transl8 mu kc tagalog yan sa txt eh😛 hehehe

    ** pero yung naihian ng paniki bago yun, di ko pa alam yun… ay eka, di b joke un? LOls😆

    hamishew na😀

    MKB-XXX

    ————————————————

    HBH-3X: Ahehe, galing sa e-mail messages kay misis yang
    5 jokes, in English talaga kaya hindi ko ni-translate… antagal na nyan – bago pa ako magsimulang mag-blog last year.

    Basta riyal-layp istori wento ko, hindi imbento – kaya tutuong nangyari yung ni-IHI-an ako ng paniki😆 … Aysows! maniwala ka – talagang pagkabahu-baho! 😡

    Marami pa ako dyoks na green😳 kaya lang kung “leftist jokes” rin lang paris nyang mga nasa itaas… 🙄 (pulos kaliwaan,😕 ) …di bale na lang, miski tumumal pa “benta” ng blog ko
    …basta ikaw “suki” ko na. 😆

    Eto pa isa o… trianggulong magulo, pero hindi naman “inbolb”
    si taga-Meralco. 😛 Hindi ko na ipo-POST; dito ko na lang i-
    PoweSTo sa poste ng Meralco – eheste, sa reply ko: 😆

    Taytol: “Anggulo Talaga ng Meralco”
    Casts: Mister, Misis, Isang pang-gulo
    Ang kuwento

    Misis: Delayed ako ng isang buwan, pero huwag mo muna ipagsabi – nahihiya ako! 😳
    Mister: Okey…😉

    Kinabukasan, dumating taga-Meralco…

    Meralco: Misis, delayed po kayo ng isang buwan. 😐
    Misis: Ha!? 😯 Pa’no mo nalaman? 🙄
    Meralco: E nasa record po! 🙂
    Mister: Aba! Bakit naka-record dyan na delayed misis ko? 😕
    Meralco: Kung gusto nyo mawala record, magbayad po kayo! 😦
    Mister: E kung ayoko magbayad, aber? 😕
    Meralco: E di puputulan po kayo! 😕
    Mister: Ha!? Tarantado ka pala e! Anong gagamitin ni misis? 😡
    Meralco: Gumamit na lang po sya ng kandila! 😆

  5. […] I can’t just end our relationship… er, I mean my posting on marriage that way – with an ‘unpalatable’ impression about the topic, however “funny” the “funny-ki” (bat)girl jokes might be.😦 Huhuhu, wala lang… hindi ko lang talaga maatim.😛 […]

  6. yuks, hahaha! nung minsan nangapitbahay kaming magiina. may nakita kaming nilalang sa kalye. hindi naman malaman kung ibon ba sya o daga — takang taka ang mga little kengkays, sempre ako din, laki ng mata ko. bawal namang hawakan at alam nyo naman dito daming bawal… nung lumapit yung isang lolo, medyo dinuro nya ng konti — biglang nagkakawag – dun lang namin na realize na paniki pala yon! first time kong makakita ng paniki🙂

    ————————————————

    HBH: Talaga tita kengkay? 😆 Ahehe… sabay-sabay pa yata kayo ng little kengkays mo na first time na nakakita ng paniki! At dyan pa sa Europe… ‘nu kyang hitsura ng paniki dyan? 🙄

    Marami din sa Pangasinan nyang kabág… ang local term yata nila dyan ay… kuraratne?

  7. nabasa ko na din sa text yang joke mo eh! hmp! pero cge, masaya na din ako kc may alam k din plang joke na ganyan.. hehe.

    minsan, nkahuli kmi ng paniki sa sementeryo nung naglinis kmi ng bata pa kami. muka tlga xang dracula.. ukang dagang may pakpak😀

    ska samin dati madami paniki kc may puno kmi dati ng aratiles. fave nila yun😀

    ————————————————

    HBH-3X: As I expected…😆 ikaw pa, eh bagu-bago pa
    joke na yan. Text din yan kay misis ng isang misis na matino na ma-‘noti’ rin! Andami halos araw-araw, miski sa e-mail nya, inuulit lang ng kwento sa akin.

    Peborit pala ng paniki ang aratiles? 🙄 Kaya pala dami nag- lipana paniki sa backyard namin sa PhilRice staff housing nuon😆 May tanim ako aratiles, kasi peborit akyatin ng pusa ko nun (CLICK mo ‘to):

    Vincent Bogo, uptree

    Nipuputulan ko nga malimit yung puno dahil ambilis tumubo lalo na pag umulan, eto o:

    HBLumberdyak

    Eto pa,😛 nakaharap:

    HBLumberdyak, diperen anggol

    Nung lumago uli, nigawan ko dyan ng bahay birdie, eto o:

    Haybol ng birdie!
    Nasaan na birdie?” 🙄 😆

  8. lagot, nasan ang birdie, na kay vncent na??? nyay!

    ————————————————

    ROBBYROBERTHBH: Ni-ROB ng putitat and twitibirdie? 😆
    Tsalamat, AWOL ( 10X! ) sa pagsilip sa blog ko! 😉

  9. Sa post na ito bagay ito:

    ————————————————

    Marami akong kilalang mga taong ‘magagaling’ — mga lalaking “macho” eka nga, ang ilan sa kanila utang na loob ito sa kani- kanilang asawa… Eka nga ng mga kano:

    “Behind every successful man is a woman… kicking his ass.” 😆


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